At-Talib Newspaper
An Islamic Approach to Fit our Modern Youth
by Shaykh as-Sayyid Muhammad Hisham Kabbani
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful,
Praise be to Allah who created us Muslims and blessings on His Prophet (saws), who was sent as a Mercy to human beings, and on his family and his Companions.
With sincerity soon will God observe your work, and the Apostle and the believers [9:105].
The position of Islam in the US is a question that is much discussed at this time. Non-Muslims desire to understand this force so they can predict its growing influence. Muslims wish to understand its inner truth so that they can live their lives in accordance with the will of God. Many people attempt to influence its growth and its development, thinking that big changes must happen quickly and on a large scale. Great change is the provenance of God. It is given to man to make small changes only, though a determined and farsighted man may indeed exert a strong influence on the course of events. For us, it is sufficient to try to do all the small day-to-day tasks well in the light of the Guidance given to us by God through his Beloved Messenger, Muhammad (s).
The US is a non-Muslim country that is in the process of dismantling of its systems of morality and belief. There is a great need at the moment to guide our new generation through very treacherous waters. We cannot steer the boat for them, for all must make the passage on their own. True Guidance comes from wisdom and Trust in God and most of us try to offer good guidance despite our weaknesses and imperfections. But we can do more. We must offer our new generation some shelter from the storm, a safe harbor from the towering seas, the raging winds, the driving rain, that lead so many souls to destruction.
Our youth are most strongly influenced by their friends and youth of their own age. The more time they can spend in a modern protected Islamic environment, in the company of spiritual, well-trained Muslim friends, under the influence of Islamic guidance, open to all kinds of sophisticated technology, extended the message of Islam by means of all modern Western ways , the stronger the chance will be for attracting our youth to it and their non-Muslim friends. The ultimate goal is to develop and establish an educational system which addresses the current mentality and orientation of our youth. This must be conducted by professional and trustworthy Muslim scholars and spiritual shaykhs that are in direct contact with the American culture and lifestyle. At that time parents may rest content in the knowledge that their young peoples’ spiritual well-being is being provided by this system.
God’s Guidance will be bestowed on those who work with faith and conviction. We as a Muslim community and as Americans, who believe in morality and in family ties, and in order to build a good relationship with humanity at large must do our utmost to support and to assist such a program based on an open-minded, yet not free-thinking, approach to education of our youth in Islam. This would be based on an Islamic approach which maintains the unique equilibrium between different inputs without deviating from the line of the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) and the shari’ah.
This approach is based on the hadith of the Prophet (saws) "make [religion] easy and do not make it difficult" and the hadith "give glad tidings and do not make people flee from you [due to strictness]." This approach is based on the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) in his approach to da’wa and preaching in the early years of his mission by bringing his people to the kalimat at-tawheed in the first two years of his mission, and not preventing them from actions which later were forbidden in shari’ah, which included drinking and womanizing and committing other major sins.
We have to keep in mind that we are in a Western community, and this verse of Qur’an which was revealed to the Prophet (saws) is very appropriate to our condition here and now, where Allah said "and it is by the great mercy of Allah that you are kind towards them, and if you had been rough and hardhearted, they would surely have dispersed from around you." [3:159]
The condition of Muslims and especially youth who are raised in the West, surrounded and influenced from many directions, and strongly affected by their desires and the worldly life, is extremely similar to that of the early Muslims, when the Prophet (saws) began his message.
The Prophet’s (saws) message was based on several important characteristics. The first of these is love. The second is trust. The third is perfect character. The Prophet (saws) was beloved among his people. He lived among them forty years, and no one in his society was as beloved and trusted as him. His character for scrupulousness and perfect honesty, earned him the title as-sadiq al-amin, the Truthful and Trustworthy One. His goodness and support for those in difficulty and in need was famous. Anyone who had a problem could turn to him and know he would not divulge their secret nor abuse them.
These good manners and behavior, and this open-mindedness towards a community which was in the depths of ignorance and depravity, caused people to listen to the Prophet (saws) and to accept what he told them. The Prophet (saws) has shown us the way to approach such issues. It is the best approach for our time to be simple, open-hearted, feel the needs of the youth and try to compromise with them, as much as we can in order to keep them with their families, rather than being too rigid and strict with them only to find they are running out of our hands.
Teaching with Compassion and Wisdom
We know that there is no compromise in Islam, and for this reason we must be strict on ourselves, in our obligations of worship and keeping the shari’ah. However, for those whom we fear they are fleeing from Islam, temporary compromise is better than strictness. We have to know that the Prophet (saws) said, "whoever declares a Muslim to be a non-believer, he himself is a non-believer." Therefore, the first consideration to know is that whoever says "laa ilaha ill-Allah Muhammadu Rasulullah", no one can accuse that person of being kafir or mushrik, even though they might miss some of their obligations. This is considered a sin, and if they repent, Allah will forgive them. So if you see someone missing Islamic obligations, don’t quickly accuse him of being outside the boundaries of Islam, as this does not take him out of Islam.
I will give an example of this from my experience.
One time a young man, who was in high school, as the end of the term approached, came to consult me on a question. He considers me like his advisor in religion. He prays all five prayers and is very good, and I always keep an open relationship with him. He asked me, "they are planning to hold the prom at my school. Do I have permission to go?" I said, "go ahead." He said, "are you sure?" I said, "Yes, if you think so go." He came back to me a week later and said, "are you sure you would like me to go to the prom?" I said, "yes, go ahead. If your heart is happy with that, go ahead." He came back yet again, a few days later, just before the event and said, "Are you sure I can go to that prom? Do you know what it is?" I said, "what is it, this prom?" He said, "let me tell you. That is a party with boys and girls. After the party they all go out all night and drink and then the boys and girls sleep together. So what do you think?" I said, "Wallahi, my son, if you think that is best for you, you go. If you feel that this will please Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala and the Prophet (saws), then go ahead. But if you feel something else is the case then you must know what that means…Because you are able to go secretly and no one would ever know, but you came to me and asked me, so think deeply about it and decide." A few hours later he came to me. He said, "O uncle you know what?" I acted surprised and said, "no, what?" He said, "I have decided not to go to the prom. I realized what you were hinting: that Allah and the Prophet (saws) do not accept it."
If from the beginning I had said, "NO! Don’t go!" he would have gone secretly and no one would have known what he had done--he might have gone far into wrongdoing. But by leaving that decision to his conscience and letting him feel it was his decision, but by nudging him towards the correct decision, he finally made the right choice on his own. This is human nature, because everything forbidden is desired. Look, Sayiddina Adam (as) had the whole paradise for himself and his wife Hawa, but when Allah forbade him to eat from one single tree, he immediately was attracted to do that. That is the nature of human beings. That is why it is important to understand our youth, their wants and needs.
To understand someone is to understand yourself and to understand a community is even more difficult. You must begin by understanding yourself. As the Prophet (s) said, "man ‘arifa nafsahu faqad ‘arifa Rabbahu" "whoever knows himself, will know Allah, subhanahu wa ta`ala." In Arabic the verb ‘arifa does not mean "to see someone" rather it means "to know about someone through his signs and to understand him". So that is why it is very important for us as Muslims, before criticizing anyone, to criticize ourselves, to know our own defects and thereby lift our spiritual nature through the purification of the self, as is mentioned in the Qur’an as "tazkiyyat an-nafs" and the state of Ihsan. As Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala said in Surat la-Jumu’ah verse 2, "He is the one who raised up among the inhabitants of Mecca, a messenger from among themselves who recites to them His communications and purifies them and teaches them the book and the wisdom, although before they were in clear error." And as He said, in Surat Shams, 10, "qad aflaha man zakkaha" "truly he succeeds who purifies it and he fails that corrupts it" and there are many other verses which refer to the importance of purifying the soul. The definition of tazkiyyat is to struggle against the bad side of the ego, which is often referred to by scholars as jihad an-nafs, the struggle against the ego.
The Approach to Jihad
If someone is claiming to follow or practice Islam, and encouraging others through the Internet, through magazines, through masajid and so on to go and fight in jihad, we ask them and wonder and raise our eyebrows with this question: "is this what they understand of jihad? Is Jihad only to go and kill for a political or for an ‘Islamic’ cause?" Before going into this subject, let us say to these people: "better than to show off, and to speak with a loud voice in mosques through microphones, and in protest marches, let them be our symbols and our exemplars, let them be the first to go for jihad, and call us from there, by radio and television, to come and fight. Better than encouraging our youth for jihad and stepping on the flag of his country and burning its flag in protest, yet never have we seen any of these persons in the battlefield."
In order to be a true mujahid, who is working solely for Allah and for Islam, then it is a must to partake in the struggle aginst the self, to purify it. It is meaningless to claim that there could be an Islamic jihad without this pursuit of self-purification. Whether or not one is successful or not in this pursuit, its necessity is incumbent on every Muslim, man or woman. It must be as the Prophet (s) purified the Sahaba, by making them struggle with themselves to worship at night, while making jihad in the day, for the name of Allah, without intention to become politicians or famous persons or achieving a chair.
An example of what we are saying is what we have seen in the last thirty years, beginning with the Palestinian problem, and passing through the Arab world, through Lebanon, Syria, Egypt, Sudan, Algeria and Tunisia, going to Iran, Iraq, then moving further to Afghanistan and then returning to Bosnia, we see that every movement beginning as jihad at the outset, proclaiming itself as jihad against Israel or against unbelievers, has ended up with peace treaties with Israel and with unbelievers. Not only that, it goes further: that these people who were proclaiming that they were making Islamic jihad, it turns out that their jihad is becoming anti-Islamic, as they end up killing one another. This is what we are seeing in Palestine, that is what we see in Egypt, that is what we see in Algeria, and now that is what we see in Afghanistan. When Russian invaded, we saw the Muslims united with one purpose: to eliminate the atheist communists from Afghanistan. Unfortunately, we are not happy to say what will pain our hearts but at least in the time of the communists there was some semblance of peace. Now they have been long gone, but now we see that in the name of jihad and of Islam, people are slaughtering each other for obtaining political leadership. If we count the number of persons killed by the Russians and under the communist regime, and we count the number of persons killed since they left, we will see that the latter is far more. Now I must ask one question: "who is supplying the arms to the Muslims to fight each other?" It is enough, in the name of Islam, producing all this killing.
In the same way, in the Lebanese crisis, I will ask the reader a question and let him or her go and research it: "who was giving the Christians weapons to fight the Muslims?" How many times were unexploded bombs found and on them was Arabic writing stamped on them from an ‘Islamic’ regime, which is not even a neighbor to Lebanon, who was supplying the Christians. Go and research this and find the answer yourself.
Now another question: "who was bombarding the East side (which was Christian) and simultaneously time bombarding the West side (which was Muslim) and making it seem like the war was between Muslims and Christians?"
I will also ask another question: "when the United States supported Saudi Arabia against Iraq, they wanted Syria to be on their side and there were secret negotiations with Syria to this purpose. It was seen after one short week that the entire Lebanese crisis was ended. What was the magic that was given to end this Lebanese crisis? Were not Syria and the U.S. in complete conflict during the Lebanese Crisis for 16 long years? What happened on the 15th of January, 1991 that ended this? Is it an Islamic jihad or what? If it was an Islamic jihad, why did they stop? If it was an Islamic jihad, what stopped it, as jihad must continue until the enemy is defeated. So where is the Islamic jihad?
Then another question comes for the reader to research: "Where were the weapons of Christians an d the weapons of Muslims who were in Lebanon—where were they sold? In selling weapons, Muslims and Christians became friends, and they sold their weapons to Serbs to be used against Muslim Bosnia!" And let us ask one more question: "In the Iraqi-Iranian war, how many times was it found that the Israeli government was sending weapons to Iran, which Iran was a publicly avowed enemy of Israel? Whereas for political purposes, in order to destroy Iraq, they came together?" We can go deeper and deeper into the details of these issues, but what we want to say is that to not really be affecte by this or that party in our Islamic jihad, we must first establish a position within ourselves to struggle against our ego, and to make jihad an-nafs, in order to build our spirituality and to build a perfect faith, so that whatever flashy positions or worldly fames will be put before us, we will not change from our primary intention, which is Islam. That is why we rrecommend first to build up your personality, as a good Muslim, having faith in Allah, and that whatever you are doing, must be 100% for Islam: not for a position, that later you might be forced to fight your brother who was in the same trench with you. This is the meaning of jihad an-nafs. Not to kill as they are doing today: every struggle announced as a jihad, ends up in one Muslim killing another. This is a vast subject on which we can speak at length, but for the sake of Islam we do not want to expose what is really going on.
When we reach that state of self-purification, then we will begin to understand everything around us, as the Prophet (s) said, "ittaqu firasat al-mu’min, fa-innahu yandhuru bi-nurillah" "Beware of the gaze of a believer, for he certainly sees with the Light of Allah."
This means that that special, and deeply faithful believer will begin to understand the personality of every individual around him and to realize what motivates every action of him or her. He is then able to analyze every personality with that purity and softness which he has accumulated in his heart through tazkiyyat an-nafs, purification of the ego. This makes him to hold to the verse of the Qur’an "la yukallifullahu illa wu’saha" "Allah never burdens anyone with more than he can bear." Since we are living in a western country, which is full of worldly attractions and full of low desires, we cannot put the load of a camel on the back of a donkey, without breaking it s back, just as we cannot load a car with the load of a bus without breaking it. So we cannot put the entire load of a pious righteous Muslim on a young adult placed by his family and parents in a Western, materialist culture, as if putting someone in a fire and then telling them, "don’t burn yourself." He is going to be burned and he is going to be destroyed.
Here our duties comes by saying "let us help someone who has been drawn away to drown by the flood, so we must extend our hand to him, perhaps making a compromise here or there, wherease we know in Islam there is no compromise, but as we are trying to help someone who is burning in the hellfire of dunya, becausae of the way his parents put him in this society, so we extend our hands, compromising some of our islamic knowledge, in order to save a person who needs it very much, althought our hands are going to be burned. But we prefere to burn a part of our body, and to save a human being from follow his worldly desires which take him away from Islam and take him away from his family.By this way we will be attracting the youth to Islam, by giving them space that they can feel that they are not guilty. In psychology, as in Islam, this is recommended in treating someone that one attack the actions and not the person. When a person, especially a young person, is shown that he is guilty, his reaction is to say, "since I am guilty and I am going to hellfire anyway, I will continue on my way and when I get older I can change."
Because not every person is the same. Some people, those who have taqwa and war’a in their hearts, if they feel guilty, they correct themselves and return to worship. But those who do not have established taqwa, when they feel guilty, they will reject the whole matter of reiligion and will run away from their families. So the duty of the fateher and the mother, and I am sayhing it from the point-of-view not as a Middle-Eastern and Arab person, but as an advice from someone living in this community and seeing every day hundreds of people coming to consult with me to ask "how doe we keep our children Muslims?" My advice is that parents must make their children as friends to them, not as tyrants and dictators at home. When a young person is going to be forbidden from doing something that his friends are doing in school or in college, he is going to fall like Adam fell when he ate the Fruit from the Tree. ..Because this is the human nature, which can be clearly understood from the example of Adam (as), for though Allah gave Adam (as) everything, nevertheless he left all he had been given and he ate from the tree. So O Muslims, beware of this aspect of human nature! It is psychological effect in every person, when you prohibit something from a person he will try it, unless he is a very good Muslim, which is very rare to find in this country.
I have been consulted many times by parents who bring their children to me, asking "we are teaching our children Quran in Islamic school" which is a very beneficial and worthwhile for every child. However the question that is raised after this is, since we cannot make our children go to Quran school every day or even every week: they will being to remonstrate and say "this is a boring subject", though as Muslims we know it is the most lovely and beneficial knowledge for children to know, but this is what we are facing. So when you impose something on a child or a youth, he will begin to feel the heat and the pressure, but when you make him to love something he will not feel pressure and heat, but will accept it immediately.
This is where the psychological effects play a big role here with the youth, though the parents are unaware of it. This is an incident that happened to me when I was giving a lecture to about 100 youth and the parents of some of them were present. My advice was "we have to give youth an alternative or something that motivates their feelings and their hearts in Islam, because the Western culture gave them that kind of effect." Now the reader might be asking what is the point?
The point is that in my discussion, I raised that they read the Quran in a way that does not give motivation to people, especially as they don’t understand Arabic, they do not feel the enjoyment or satisfied from the musical soft tones to their ears. That is why one time the Prophet (s) was listening to one companion who was reciting the Quran in a very melodious way and when he noticed the Prophet (s) was listening to his recitation, he said, "O Prophet of Allah, if I had been aware that you were listening, I would have made my recitation even more melodious." That is why we are not giving our youth some kind of things that they like and enjoy, like nasheed, qasaid, praising Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala, in a nice way with daff (drum) and some kind of exciting way of recitation, to give a musical tone in his ear, that would allow him to leave the other kinds of music that he likes to hear.
I told the parents there "I will show that all these kids like to hear music, although we know that music is not recommended." But you are not giving any thing to your children to substitute for what you are denying them. Why not give them some nasheed, some qasaid, some melodious recitation of Quran, which will substitute for the music which is filling their ears? The only the parents think, and those scholars who are in authority in our mosques and Islamic centers, is only in the way they were brought up, which only people of an age of 50 or 60 think. You must enter the heart and mind of your child, though you are 40 or 50, you must try to relate and think in the way that your shild, who was brought up in this community, the way he or she thinks. By that way you go along with your child and slowly you bring him closer and closer to Islam.
That is why Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala said in Holy Quran, Tawba, 119, "O ye who believe, fear Allah and keep company with those who are true to their word [sadiqeen]". Not every person can be sadiq. But to accompany a sadiq person, you will learn from him how he reached that state, how he purified himself through tazkiyyat an-nafs, through a complete healing process of the heart, which he went through, based on the Quran and hadith of the Prophet (s). So to accompany sadiqeen in this community is the best way to give the knowledge of love and mercy to our youth, and attract them through that love that they are not feeling from their parents and families, who are so much involved in the worldly life, and to avoid attacking them by calling them "innovators, kufr shirk, haram and saying this is not allowed" but by giving them good tidings, "if you pray then Allah will grant you Paradise." Versus the method of condemning them if they don’t pray, and saying "you will go to hell." It if not different, but if you use the message of love and mercy, it will have a better effect and make a much better impression than if you use condemnation and threats. As Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala said in al-Araaf, 56 "for the mercy of God is near to those who do good [muhsineen]" And He said in Surat an-Najm, 31, "and he rewards those who do good with what is best."
Here "those who do good" means "those whose hearts are open to everyone, without discrimination," because they have reached a stage of God-consciousness, taqwa, and a stage of fear of God, wara, and a stage of zuhd, abstention from the worldly life, and a stage of reverence and humility, khushu, and a station of patience, sabr, and a station of truthfulness, sidq, and a station of morality and good character, adab, which the Prophet (s) mentioned when he said, "adabanee Rabbee fa-ahsana taadeebee" " My Lord taught and trained me in good manners and He perfected my good manners." And as Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala asaid in the Holy Quran, describing the Prophet (s), which means a character we must all strive to attain, "if you were harsh and hard-hearted they would have fled from around you." So we have to be carrying also these good manners: hilm, forbearance, rahmat,compassion, karam, generosity, tawada’, humbling oneself, haya, modesty, shuja’a, courage and many other qualities which Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala adorned the Prophet (s) with. Hazrat Ayesha(r) said about the Prophet (s) " his character was the Quran". This means his character was the best character. And the Prophet (s) through tazkiyyat an-nafs and the state of Ihsan, which is a long subject difficult to discuss in this article, but will appear in a future article, dressed his character on the Sahaba, such that they became perfect and shining examples of mankind, of how human beings should exist in perfect harmony with the Creator and with each other. This implies to us in this western community, where everything is rude and harsh and filled with low attractions and desires, so we have to know how to accommodate ourselves through good manners and good character, to make the youth attracted to us through their emotions and their love to our personality. As soon as they love your personality and you become an example and a symbol to them, they immediately begin to listen to what you say, leaving behind all kind of entertainment and worldly pleaseures, and they beign to accept what you tell them of akhira’s pleassures. So don’t be harsh on the youth because of their actions, but be someone who loves them and be a kind person, feeling and understanding their feelings, and accepting what they say, and following them as they like as a bait from you to catch them at the end. I conclude with the hadith of the Prophet (s), "whoever comes towards Allah one handspan, Allah will come towards him one armslength, and whoever comes to Allah walking, Allah will come towards Allah running. Come towards the youth with love and mercy, they will come to yor.
Conclusion
This delicate manner of living as Muslims, between the many cultures and influences which exist in the United States, requires everyone to share responsibility for building a Muslim approach to understanding, by encouraging the American-Muslim citizens to be proud of their Islamic identity, so that the growth of Islam, the spirituality of Islam and the traditional Islamic knowledge through the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) of love and peace may be assured in the United States. The fruit of this Islamic spiritual approach will ripen in the coming decades, but the rewards for those who have helped the crop assuredly lie within the vastness of Allah’s infinite Mercy and Benevolence.
May He, Almighty Allah, guide our way with His Divine Light, through the wisdom He bestows on the faithful and committed believers.
Shaykh as-Sayyid Muhammad Hisham Kabbani, MD
President, As-Sunnah Foundation of America